Feeling contemplative this morning as I review my previous weekly encounters with folks that I am helping and building relationships with at my job. I learn so much about myself, love, truth and connection from these people that I am so blessed and honored to interact with. It has been an interesting and unfolding expansive personal experience since I started my job helping folks struggling with homelessness or at least at high risk of becoming homeless. This has brought all sorts of walks of life into my path with not one single perfect “recipe” that got them there. Sure, there are certainly common threads like addiction, poor choices, legal issues and a cocktail of various other circumstances that may have led to their current situation, but some aren’t as cut and dry, black and white as it seems. Some it’s a major string of bad luck, health issues, heart brake and more. Regardless, without exception, they all are suffering.
The thing I see when each of these people step into my office is the person, in the moment, wanting to find their way back “home”. They are searching for a way to improve their current situation in ways they feel will get them back on track with things such as “employment”, “money”, “security”, “housing” and just overall survival beyond just literally trying to stay alive. What some of them end up getting is so much more should they be ready and I be guided and used in such a way to create real change. When this happens I end up getting the opportunity to open and love them unconditionally and not be afraid to do so.
This sort of thing can be a bit tricky because not too many people really understand unconditional love beyond the logical explanation of what unconditional love looks like. Even people with good intentions can get confused by this powerful thing called LOVE. What does it mean? The first unconscious question that eventually interrupts the flow of unconditional love is how can it be labeled so that it can be understood. It often feels a bit scary and uncontrollable even for the individual that logically understands the meaning of unconditional love. Unconditional love is not to be understood by the mind but rather the heart. It requires a deep connection to the greater part of ourselves where labels and separation does not exist. It requires a constant checking in with that part of ourselves to not get lost in the magnitude of the power it holds. It takes focus and dedication and commitment to the highest and most sacred energy behind it to ultimately have it manifest in Divine ways and a healthy and expansive outcome.
I truly believe that the path I have chosen over the years has slowly and inconspicuously led me to be exactly where I am, doing what I am doing. I am constantly checking my ego and inviting my Higher Self to continue to use me to do the work, to love perfectly and create an environment where I can teach those I work with, how to love without expectation, how to be in alignment with their true nature and feel safe being kind and compassionate. How to practice having a loving relationship that is healthy and means nothing more than pure connection. No chance of romance, not even a guarantee of a long lasting friendship, simply a deep loving connection that happens on a equal “playing field” in the “now”. The “playing” field of infinite oneness. What a gift that is being shown to these unsuspecting individuals. What an amazing way for Source/God/”the Law” to show up. What is so cool about it is that the very first thing that takes place is the message they get that THEY are okay. That THEY are important. That THEY are Divine and perfect and the sooner they remember this the faster they can get their life changed around. The message that all they have to do to move forward is, at the very least, accept that the possibility exists that they are important JUST because they exist. Nothing more and nothing less. The rest lies in the power of the unconditional love that will soon follow. Yes, somebody loves them just because. Some stranger, some lady who doesn’t know them from “Adam” loves them. Not because they are told this but because they just know, somehow they just know. There is no warning for me either when this is about to take place, which makes it magical and so out of my capacity to ever plan such an intervention. What a gift I’m given to be witness to this and be used in such a way that I get to be a “circuit” for this blissful and amazing energy and connection of unconditional love to manifest through. These are by far the most intense and pure relationships I get to be a part of and witness. They are miracles!
Some of these lovely Beings that I connect with have either never experienced a healthy relationship or have forgotten what one feels like (likely the first) and often have really not ever experienced safe love. Actually, to be honest, I’m not sure I even know too many people who most would consider to be healthy, that understand what a truly healthy relationship is. Most have unconscious expectations from all their relationships whether they be with family, friends or lovers. There’s an unconscious need, give and take and attachment of some sort. I know because I have those in my own life as well and while I can usually see the underlying attachments, I have them none the less. I must say though that because of my awareness, I have incredible people and relationships in my life. The healthier they have gotten, the more I have been free to love unabashedly (not recklessly), but fully as “myself” and fully communicate clearly about why someone may love me while not even really knowing much about me. I show them how to love themselves, the “truth” about themselves and when I show up vulnerable and authentic it allows them the freedom to do the same. THAT is liberation and freedom. THAT is the reason they come back. Not being defined by their past and by allowing them to show up in this NEW DAY, in this NEW MOMENT and choose something different without judgement, allows the freedom to start feeling okay again and to explore this new world of being in alignment with who they truly are, which is Divine perfection and then work from that place out verses trying to fix everything from the outside in. This is so powerful!
I get to literally love unconditionally with those who allow and respond to it. For those who aren’t sure why and are drawn to something that feels so right but so out of the norm, for those who are willing to explore and follow the newly found natural high that heals the addictions, that heals the self disgust, that heals the feeling of powerlessness into something powerfully creative. They follow, though not completely understanding why, other than to know that it feels right. They begin to understand that it is not a relationship that can easily be labeled or described without the risk of cheapening it. They follow because there is something so much greater than the “relationship” taking place. Something so powerful, it literally reaches into the depths of their Soul through the crack that has been opened by this love, by this interaction.
There needs NOT to be a plan with these encounters as they will evolve in the most perfect way. The connection that is formed is permanent and powerful and there is no need on a physical level to access it at all. The “Oneness” that is solidified by these connections will forever, infinitely remain in tact and will be felt on ALL levels of experience, whenever and wherever needed. Even in the perceived separation of this human experience. There will always be a subtle or maybe not so subtle knowing of oneness between me and them. Our Souls have a contract that needed to be tended to in their own unique way. My heart feels so full as I write this though I’m not sure these words will ever convey the beauty. I am deeply grateful for being chosen for such a transaction. I’m not sure why exactly but I surrender to the fact that I don’t really need to know and I no longer question it.
Trust me when I say this has nothing to do with me, you know…the physical “me”, other than being a willing pawn/participant in the plan of Infinite Divine Love. Call it God, Buddha, Alla, Bubba…call “It” whatever you want, whatever feels comfortable. It’s UNCONDITIONAL LOVE and it is completely intoxicating. It is truly the new high of the coming age. It is the shift and the evolution of the “ALL”. It’s “Source” evolving and experiencing Itself through humanity. It’s friggen amazing is what “IT” is!!
Told ya, it’s definitely my “new high”. It just keeps getting better the more I surrender to “It”, trust “It” and honor “It” in such a pure and authentic way. It keeps getting better the more I understand how to just BE It”.
I wake up in the morning give thanks for my life and connect to my Higher Self, get out of bed, have my coffee with my hair all askew, wait for the “movement”, brush my teeth, go to the gym for my hour and half workout, come home and fix a smoothie or juice something, hit the showers, put myself together in a way that when I look in the mirror I’m seeing myself like I want to feel, pack my lunch, feed my critters and hop in the car to head to work! I know that was a long sentence but this represents how most of my mornings begin.
After a full day meeting with people (I’ll be mostly speaking about this in a minute), I head home. I shoot my partner and best friend a call to see what he’s thinking about for dinner. We mutually decide, or if one of us is ambitious, will already have it covered. Come home, eat, watch a bit of TV and go to bed to read. I get my needed 7 hours of beauty rest and then start it all over again at 4:45 am the next morning.
It’s what happens in the middle that I want to talk about. The full day of meeting with people that is. I’m not sure I can even really put it into words, which is how it usually works with what I’m about to try to describe. I am not a Social Worker by degree, nor am I a Psychologist by degree either (I actually spelled psychologist right on the first try! Yay me!). I have been a self proclaimed “spiritual life coach” for several years after having experienced some pretty amazing things that you will not find in any college text books. I have a very keen sense of what will resonate with the people that come through my office and cross my path. This is because it’s very simple but oh so scary! I teach and reflect the message of LOVE. You see, I know the truth about people. I know that they come from a perfect energy of Divine love. They have a hidden spark inside them that has been so buried under bullshit, conditioning, abuse, rejection, abandonment, neglect, expectations and false beliefs that they have forgotten their own perfection and unique place in this human experience.
If I were to ask you if you would love to see peace on earth, what would your answer be? I know what mine would be…. YES, of course! It struck me the other night as I was watching “The Amazing Race” (one of my guilty pleasures), how we often look so far outside of ourselves when it comes to wishing, hoping or doing anything about helping to create the whole “peace on earth” concept. Let me explain….
I’m here to tell you that you are not alone and there are many things that you can learn to change all of that… IMMEDIATELY. My passion is in helping and supporting women in finding “their way back” to who they truly are and finding that peace and ease they are missing and longing for in their lives.
If you can relate to the brief paragraph above – you might want to keep reading…
Okay…. I’m feeling rather feisty today and am ready to “take the bull by the horns” and challenge all of you, my beloved sisters and brothers, whether or not you are ready to ask yourself a few very important questions: Where are you now, relative to where you were a year ago and where it is you REALLY want to be? Are your relationships leaving you feeling filled up or depleted?
Since I focus primarily on relationships and spirituality or spiritualism in my coaching, lets just use this topic for an example. Are you still complaining and suffering in your relationship, the same as you were a year ago?
For those of you listening to this blog that have registered for the “Waking Up the Real You ~ Re-Creating Your Own Reality” Series”, please listen to the whole audio. It’s only 5 minutes long and there’s an additional message in there for all. I did talk about the Series in this audio to let those of you who haven’t heard about it, know about it.
Be sure to leave a comment below – let me know how you liked the “audio” blog!
Blessings to all! Enjoy!
That coined phrase seems to re-occur often in my coaching. Seems us humans are so invested in being “right” that we will use our entire energy supply trying to make someone else acknowledge our way of thinking.
It’s like beating your head against a wall – time and time again, because the other person is usually invested in convincing YOU that THEY are “right” as well. And so it goes…..
When should a person say, “you know what?….go ahead and be “right”, I’m going to go be happy!”? We have no idea what others “human experience” agenda’s are, so why are we arrogant enough to want to change them, to seemingly make our own ideas and beliefs about life “right”?
Sure, you can share your perceptions about what is appropriate behavior for YOU, and what you feel is okay to have in YOUR “space”, but beyond that….Quit trying to change other people. If what they are doing, or not doing, saying, or not saying isn’t feeling good to you, than say to them “GOD SPEED! – Go live your life the way you see fit, make your bed and then lay in it, I’ll do the same, however, it just isn’t going to work for me to have you in my space anymore”.
The problem most people face is that they don’t want to have to give up anything… not their perceived comforts, their perceived friendships and most of all their NEED TO BE “RIGHT”! There’s a feeling of “by God, if I have to tow the line, they better do the same!”, rather than just letting them be and then living in accordance with what makes them feel good.
It’s ironic that we cling so tightly to the illusion of what we think we have, or want to have, rather than WHAT we actually do have.
I have to admit, this comes up for me in my coaching. Especially with people who I’m close to. I need to practice what I preach. I sometimes get so invested in wanting people to love themselves at the level they need to in order to experience freedom, happiness and joy – all of which awaits them, that I sometimes feel the need to be “right” and I hang on so tight to giving all that I’ve got, that I end up depleted. How’s that for the whole “mirroring” affect. I want to help people “be happy” but ultimately I can only offer tools and different perspectives to help. To be happy, is their choice.
I know that I need to give all I got, with love in my heart and then not be attached to the outcome. Also, to give freely the tools and insights to help someone choose to become empowered, but then release attachment to how they use them. At the end of the day, we all have to CHOOSE to love our-selves enough to let go. We have to find the courage to say “GOD SPEED” to people and things in our lives that are not in alignment with what we want to see for ourselves. It’s a challenge to stay out of judgment of those things that we “let go” of and stay centered in our own consciousness when it comes to being connected to our Source. That’s the space where life becomes easy, joyful and feels effortless.
Thanks for letting me share! This blog literally flowed effortlessly out of me, as my own experience of this has been presenting itself and mirroring back to me. I know this is yet another opportunity to “let go” and unfold even deeper into the greatest expression of myself!
I love life! I love my relationships because they teach me so much about myself. I’m forever grateful for the absolute knowing of the Source that flows through me…that IS me. My heart swells with expansion and gratitude!
www.lightupmysoul.com (Go get your free gift! It’s given with love!)
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It’s ironic that people can spend their entire lives holding on for dear life, to the things they think are love. It could be the marriage that is anything but happy and maybe even abusive, a job that pays well but is miserable, a fancy sports car that they are a slave to financially, an “image” of who they want people to think they are (whatever that might be)….the list could go on. All the while they’ve convinced themselves that without these things they will be alone, broke, worthless, unlovable…..and again, the list could go on.
Their fear keeps them captive from the very thing they want so badly – LOVE, and they will do whatever it takes to convince themselves that what they are hanging on to is really love. They are so afraid to wake up from the “dream” of what they so desperately want, that they cannot see it’s just a dream and are not willing to see that what they actually HAVE, is not serving their SOUL and is anything but LOVE or the experience of IT.
They are so afraid to wake up that they live in a state of “survival”. Wanting, wanting and wanting for everything “out there” to just cooperate and be in alignment with their dream. Often, all they feel is regret, fear, sadness, shame, guilt, exhaustion and completely forget to LIVE and DANCE and SING the song of their SOUL.
IT’s been there all along….LOVE that is. IT’s who WE ALL ARE, with no exceptions. Nothing and no one else can give you love, it can only be shared with each other. REAL LOVE that is. You can’t give someone something that already is entirely who they are because they are lacking nothing. A void cannot be filled with a person or thing because we are all whole in this moment. When we truly connect to the Source of who we truly are – we blossom. We discover that we’ve been LOVE all along.
I’ve heard this song a thousand times and have know the words by heart, but today I REALLY listened and felt profoundly sad for those who forget they ARE LOVE and live there lives searching, hanging on and unable to experience their own beauty blossoming in the ultimate opening up in LOVE and experience themselves in the fullness and greatness of who they truly are in this moment.
The good news is that everything is all in perfect order and it is NEVER too late to wake up!!
Always Love and Light! Thanks for being YOU :-)!
Make sure to get your free gift: www.lightupmysoul.com
Who and what are you blaming today for feeling “less than” happy? It’s an important question to ask yourself throughout your day. It will clue you in to who you are giving your power to and help you to question – WHY?
We all do it. Give our power away that is. We truly are the Captain of our own ship, however, we all slip from time to time and get tired of the responsibility owning our own lives and experiences. I guess I should ask: Are you even aware that you ARE 100% responsible for your own life? Just thought I would ask as I do not want to presume.
Just so you know, if you are uncertain about that question I have put together a free Mini-Course and Ebook on just that. You should check it out www.lightupmysoul.com or simply sign in over to the right of this page. Either way, you’ll get the free gift :-)!
Sorry, got a bit diverted in my message but it seemed appropriate to throw that in there because I think there are many people who don’t really understand that they truly are creating their lives, whether it be consciously or unconsciously.
Okay back to the “Ship” analogy…. If somebody is showing up in your life that is making you feel “crazy”, angry, sad, frustrated, victimized or whatever negative emotion that you know to be true for you, WHY do you give them even more power by allowing them to determine how happy you get to be?
If you are steering you ship and someone comes and tells you you’re doing a crappy job and you suck at it (they don’t happen to like where you’re heading) and demand that you let them take over the Helm, are you seriously going to do that? Agreeing to just being along for the ride even though they are taking you somewhere you DON’T want to go? Or should you tell them to mind their own ship and do what they need to do but they need to GET OFF your ship NOW!
Perhaps you relish in the “sweet release” of relinquishing ownership of your life and your feelings to someone else for a while. After all, you get to blame the guy/gal that you’ve just let take over! How’s that gonna work for you? While you can BLAME. BLAME. BLAME, you will forever be at their mercy and forever be hoping they will “see the light and take you where YOU want to go”. Won’t EVER happen!
Are you starting to get the picture? If we were all to just stop in the moment of feeling bad and ask ourselves the question I posed earlier “Who’ Fault Is It”, we would remember that it is our own fault because we CAN CHOOSE DIFFERENTLY! We can choose to get back into the “drivers seat”!
Just a sweet reminder of how powerful you are! Your amazing life is waiting for you ~ full of all that you can see in everybody you’ve ever admired or aspired to be. These people would not be reflecting back to you it wasn’t a part of WHO you are in this moment!
Here’s a couple of really great books that are newly released that would be super valuable time spent. I highly recommend them!
Author: Kimberly Ann Coots
Author: Saskia Roell
VERY inspirational AND TRANSFORMATIONAL!
Well, “it’s a wrap” for this particular blog. Be back again soon!!
LOVE AND LIGHT TO YOU MY “PEEPS”!
LIGHT UP MY SOUL!
COME JOIN ME ON:
There is no more noble occupation in the world than to assist another human being – to help someone to succeed ~ Alan Loy McGinnus
It comes to mind, (LOL), that the Mind is where it ALL seems to start ~ even this Spiritual Language that we incorporate into our being in order to heal those aspects of ourselves we’ve yet to uncover.
In my coaching I teach over and over again “this Spiritual Language” and a variety of “tools” to help people to create shifts in their lives to start to really be able to connect to their Spirit/Soul and very essence of who they are.
The only time my Mind does not come into play is when I’m channeling Spirit. Spirit’s message literally by-passes my Mind and words flow out of my mouth effortlessly while infusing me with a sense of expansion beyond belief! In these moments ~ I JUST AM.
I learn from these moments and can repeat it from a thinking place but I am back in the Mind again in order to do this. I suppose it’s the ebb and flow of it all. That it’s the necessary “humanness” that makes this particular journey what it is intended to be for us.
I have, however, been really aware of this lately as the Universe has put an example of the “I AM” in front of me with a particular person. This guy does not know that he “just IS” because he’s not “trying” to be that way or “thinking” about it. I’ve never met anyone else like him. Almost completely unconditioned, no indication of fear and somehow just enjoys what’s in his space “WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT IT”.
Seriously, it’s bizarre – kind of. That’s my instinctual reaction because of MY “conditioning”. This kind of behavior from this guy is so NATURAL yet is so UNCOMMON that it feels bizarre. This person has no issues around money, relationships, attachment and you would never really know this stuff about him because he’s not trying to teach it, he’s simply just BEING IT. I feel blessed to have this kind of interaction with him as I know it’s the Universe communicating with me.
I think the biggest message that is intended for me with this acquaintance is that we all ARE our desires. We all ARE our loving feelings. We all ARE our wealth. We all ARE natural servants to one another. We all ARE compassion, love, Light, joy, peace etc….
Our pain and struggles show up in the IDEA that we need to TRY to be good. Our struggles show up because we feel we need to TRY to set examples, that we need to TRY to be good at passing the message of LOVE along, we need to TRY to be wealthy etc. Now obviously, you can’t just sit in a chair and do nothing but you CAN go through your experience knowing you are these things and that you are meant to experience your life in the way that you do.
My guess if we could all operate in the feeling space of fullness and greatness and quit always THINKING WE NEED to TRY SO HARD there would be less struggle and pain showing up in our lives. If we were all masters at this there would be Peace on this Planet without doubt.
I’m not sure how clearly I have put this feeling I’m trying to convey into words but I wanted to give it a “go”. I’m feeling very transformational in this moment and I’m grateful I have all of you to share with. Thanks, as always, for listening!
Love and Light to you All!
So often we hear the phrase “just turn the other cheek”. I believe it is often misunderstood to mean, keep on taking whatever it is that is being dished out to you and this somehow makes you a better person. I believe Gandi meant it to a means of NON VIOLENCE and I’m totally on board with that! Turning the cheek does not mean to stay in the same place and continue to be a door-mat either.
I mean, come on!, WHY would you want to stand in one place and choose to continue being, well… “B” slapped” over and over again? Should you FIGHT BACK?? Absolutely not because that is wasted energy being directed into what is NOT SERVING your Highest Good. What if you, INSTEAD, turned your other cheek towards the thing you really desire and deserve?
What if you decided to become clear about what you desire and then make a move towards it, even if it is ever so small AND being WILLING to believe that the very thought itself is starting the process? There’s probably a good chance you don’t even know what it is that you want.
So often I see women start to THINK they understand this concept and they say “Okay, I can do this! Hmmmm, let’s see….What is it that I want??”. “How about lets start with my husband. I want him to not be so condescending or jealous or WHATEVER….” or “I want my boss to appreciate all that I do and give me a raise” or “I want my kids to stop sassing me and just do what I ask them to do without complaining”.
You can want and desire others to change ALL DAY LONG but the fact of the matter is, you cannot change anyone else’s behaviors. Often times, this is why people give up because they think they know what they want and spend all their thoughts and energy around changing other people’s habits and behaviors to ensure their own comfort. When really what they are focusing on, are the things they DON’T like or DON’T want in others and the Universe, being the generous and all giving Energy that it is, just keeps bringing the same thing.
The Key to changing your life is focusing your energy on what you WANT. Here’s a few examples: I want to be in a happy, supportive, healthy relationship where complete support for each others highest good is priority. OR – I want what I “do” to be in complete alignment with who I am and be able to utilize my God given gifts to serve the world while making at least 75k annually.
Once you can determine what you WANT then start MOVING and LEANING that direction. Do not take your eyes off what you want and the Universe will throw nuggets your way to help you easily accomplish it. You do not have to KNOW HOW it will play out but be willing to be open, receptive and willing to accept that the Universe is your partner in getting this done. Your job is to stay focused and watch and pay attention to the things that arrive in your space to help get you to your desired outcome.
This seems so easy but because we are programmed to do exactly opposite of this, it takes commitment, willingness and focus to change your instinctive and unhealthy patterns.
If you are really serious and need help, I strongly encourage you to find a Coach. There’s power in this as it shows the Universe that you are willing. I specialize in Relationship and Life Coaching and I’m happy to help. Regardless of who you reach out to… find some support.
STOP BY AND PICK UP MY FREE AUDIO MINI COURSE: “Can You Feel Free and Happy in Your Relationships and Life?” www.lightupmysoul.com
You can reach me by my personal email: email@example.com
Love and Light to you!
CEO of Light Me Up Ind., LLC
I LOVE my Mom!! She’s one of the most impressive, strong, women I know. She was left to raised her 4 Kids on her own after my Father died at the age of 28 of a heart attack. I am the youngest of the 4 kids and I was only TEN WEEKS old when he died. My brother’s the oldest and he was FIVE). She never re-married and was able to, on a teachers salary, without working summers, put us through private schooling, was part of the PTA, hosted many overnight slumber parties for us and supported us through our rebellious, crazy, hormonal teenage years. She also made college available to all of us.
Most people would crumble under that kind of shock and pressure and intense sorrow, but instead, she devoted her entire life to raising us kids. Her family became her focus and she, early on, must have decided to find the blessings in her children rather than stay in a state of absolute sadness from the loss of my Dad. Don’t get me wrong – 46 years later she will still cry when she reminisces about him or thinks about how we didn’t get a chance to know him.
She never even really dated. We did not have men coming in and out of our lives – ever. She provided such a safe and consistent environment for us. The families we grew up with that were part of our school are still people she gets together with frequently. In fact all of us go to one of the families house EVERY CHRISTMAS EVE. No invitations are sent out – everyone just shows up. It’s pretty cool!
My Mom is also the WORLDS BEST GRANDMA to 10 grandchildren. All of her grandkids have a very close and special relationship with her as well. I don’t know what I would have done without her support during some trying times in my own parenting to my Son and Daughter. She has always been my rock!
I literally could write a book about my Mom and maybe I should just do that someday soon but for now I just wanted to honor her on this Mothers Day! She represents the ultimate Feminine and Masculine balance! She’s strong and capable. She was an EXAMPLE of positive thinking and perseverance! There was really nothing that she couldn’t do if she put her mind to it. She participated in our lives: to the extent of showing me and my friends how to do tricks on the “monkey bars”! LOL I can still hear my friends saying “wow – I can’t believe your MOM can do that!” We would organize our softball games with all the other families and the parents would play too. Those are some wonderful memories.
I am so grateful for the healthy, loving childhood that she provided me and my siblings. She did this without a man in her life. She showed us how we can be complete on our own so that our relationships could be that much more meaningful. The loss of my Dad certainly showed up in my own life in different ways. There were things to learn from that as well and most definitely played a part in how my life played out for sure, but I wouldn’t change a single thing about my life.
I continue to be one of my Moms biggest admirers and I cherish the relationship that I have with her. She’s my friend and is still my rock! I LOVE MY MOM so much!! and today I sit in gratitude that our SOULS committed to each other in this life!
Blessings to all of you Mothers out there! You are beautiful and special – enjoy your DAY!!
Love and Light Always